Classes have begun...

Here we are, September at last. The time of year where everyone asks where did the summer go, how did it pass by so quickly? I am always ready for it. In June, I am excited for summer and the beach, sunshine and bare toes. By mid-August the trip to the beach is far behind me, my feet are mad at me for mistreating them in flip flops, and I am finished with sleeping with the windows closed for fear the air-conditioned air will escape. Everyone seems cranky and panicked, trying to get the last few days' worth of quality summer fun before it's too late. I say pack up the inflatable pool and bring on the pumpkin-flavored coffee, the fresh night air, and fisherman sweaters.

August was a month of uncontrollables, of a multitude of events and occasions that proved to be challenging from all angles. A family reunion of sorts, a baby shower, christening, sickness and recovery, and too much weather kept me filled with nervous energy. I moved from day to day, finishing one task or challenge to move on to the next, and crawled into bed tired and low on motivation. So goodbye, August. You've worn out your welcome.

Even though my last first day of school was too many years ago, I've never lost that back-to-school vibe, that smell of potential in the air. Potential to start fresh and be that go-getter I just know is in there waiting to burst out all over everyone and everything. Armed with new clothes and blank pages in composition books, I will take it all on. I will raise my hand in class every day at least once, I will not hide behind third base in gym class praying the ball doesn't reach me. I will stop letting life just happen to me.

It's still there. I'm more cynical than that idealistic schoolgirl, and I'm a little worn from wear, but I still feel like I fueled up on optimism somewhere and am getting ready for the new year. September is my birth month and I look at my new age as my next grade or semester in the "school of life". And just like when I was in school, my enthusiasm will fade quickly, only this time I have a daughter to help me kickstart it back up again. I want her to pick up on this feeling, to look forward to new beginnings and fresh starts. To not dread the experience of learning, be it in a classroom or elsewhere.

So I'm saying farewell to summer, even though there are technically a few weeks left, and I'm gearing up for the new season. I'm making my mental lists of books to read and looking for a new haircut. I am preparing for the onslaught of birthdays and holidays by setting a budget. I am looking forward to potty training (well, sort of. Let's say I'm looking forward to no diapers.). I am taking charge of the things I can control and making this life thing a collaboration instead of a one-sided affair. I will sit in the center of the classroom instead of the back row. And I will start daydreaming of next year's summer vacation...