About that title...

I wish I had a better pen.
Those are the words I mutter when I try to write anything, and I mean anything. A letter, a grocery list, a note to my husband. Those who know me know that I am a little particular about my handwriting, which starts with the good pen. So whenever I felt the urge to start a journal or diary, I would get the best pen I could find and try to begin. And would stop. And start. And stop. And the pen was never good enough. Nor was my handwriting. The journal would get a few pages devoted to doodles, then be tossed into the stash of lovely blank books forgotten in the attic...or are they in a drawer?

I've always been a harsh critic, of myself and others. And scribbling whatever's in my brain meant opening up to some snarky self-mocking. But with the realities of daily life (an unfulfilling job, a typically exhausting two-year-old) piling on, I'm getting desperate for a little creative outlet to remind myself there is a 'me' here somewhere. And, even though I don't do resolutions, the new year seems like a good time to ease into a new attitude of more open-and-honest, less harsh-and-judgemental. To embrace my inadequacies instead of letting them dictate what I do. To laugh with me instead of at me. Maybe this blog thing will keep all of that in check.
The elusive perfect pen is a good excuse to not go there. But now there's this keyboard. So it's time to get over the self-consciousness and cynical judging of my blurbs, be they what they are, and let some stuff out of this cluttered head. I will always wish I had a better pen. I'll get over it. But I wonder if there is a better font in this template...